


Before Breakfast

by Haroldmay (abirdonalilactree)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: At the beginning it's a tiny bit angsty, But that will change, Dan is a bit depressed in the first chapters, Friendship, It's some kind of mystery I guess, OCs - Freeform, Someone in the comments said that they got scared so I should tag it as 'scary'?, Various other youtubers as sidecharacters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-07-29 12:03:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16263827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abirdonalilactree/pseuds/Haroldmay
Summary: It's breakfast time and Dan is hungry.But things are not how they seem to be and suddenly his whole world turns upside down.





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> This surely didn't happen.

Dan sat on his favourite spot on the couch, when exactly nothing happened.  
He was slightly bored. He yawned and stretched his limbs. Then he hesitated.  
Something was unusual. His stomach made a loud noise and he jumped. Something was different. What was it?

"Phiiiil? Have you done the dishes, so we can eat breakfast?", Dan yelled, "I'm hungry."

No answer.

"Phiiiil, are you secretely eating my cornflakes again?", he yelled.

Still no answer. But there was something even more unsetteling about the silence that followed.  
It was the absence of the sound of someone hurriedly putting a box of cereal back onto a shelf. There was an absence of footsteps. There was an absence of childish giggling.  
There was no sound at all.

It wasn't a silence of guilt. It was a silence of absence.

With a sigh Dan put his Laptop aside and stood up.

"Phiiiiil? Are you hiding in the wardrobe again? You are not going to scare me this time, Phil.", he yelled and then chuckled. 'That guy.', he said to himself fondly.

He tiptoed towards it and then he quickly opened the wardrobe. There was a mix of completely black and eyehurtingly colourful clothes.

"Phiiiiil. Will you tell me where you are, or do I have to follow the trail of dirty socks on the floor?"

 

There wasn't exactly a line. It looked more like a sockmonster had exploded in the middle of the living room. So he looked around and then decided to go through every room of their apartment.

But there was no hint of Phil.

It was very unlikely that his friend had gone outside, really, he thought.  
A bit worriedly he took his phone and send him a text message.

He heard a short vibration coming from the bedroom.

There was Phils phone on the bed, but there was no Phil. He observed the phone. There were several new text messages, most from Dan, one from PJ and one from his mom.  
The battery was at 74 percent. He couldn't have been gone for long.

Dan suddenly felt very miserable. He absently put his friends' phone into his pocket. It felt cold. 

If he wasn't at home, maybe he did go outside. It was possible after all, that he just went for a walk.

But why would Phil go outside, alone and then don't take his phone with him?  
He felt like the room around him started to spin.

 

Not knowing what else to do, he sat on the floor and started to concentrate on not panicking.  
The breathing exercise didn't work.

And like it is always the case, when you try really hard not to think about something, then you really have to think about it.  
His best friend in a terrible accident. Bloody, hurt.  
No!  
Don't even think about it.

So he took his phone once more and wrote to all of their five friends.

But no one had seen Phil.

He wrote to his parents, but they didn't know where their son was either.

Dan went through the apartment once more. Opened drawers and cupboards and looked under the bed and the sofa, under tables, even behind the furniture.  
His fingers trembled, when he ran a hand through his hair in exhaustion.

"Phil.", he said quietly.

 

He sat back into his sofa crease, to contemplate his life choices. 

 

Should he go to the police?  
No not yet.  
They probably wouldn't help him.  
He hadn't been gone for more than three and a half hours.

Finally Dan made a decision.  
He put on his cap and his sunglasses.  
It was time to go outside!

Maybe Phil needed help.

Maybe he got lost.

Or maybe he was just going for a walk after all.

But where to find him?

Where would Phil go?

 

First Dan went to Starbucks.  
It was crowded and loud, but his friend wasn't there.

Then he searched for him at the comicbookstore.  
Sometimes Phil went there, when he needed some quiet time.  
They often had bought each other gifts from there.  
Silly little things.  
Anyway he talked to the owner, but he hadn't seen Phil in a while.

 

Then he went to the park.  
They had often gone for long walks around there.  
Phil had ran after squirrels and Dan had laughed.  
But there wasn't any thirty year old man chasing squirrels on that day.

 

What if Phil went to play Pokemon go and got lost?  
He went to all the important places, until he realized: How should he play Pokemon go without his phone?

 

Then he went to a few other shops and cafés, that he could imagine, Phil could possibly visit.  
But he easn't anywhere to be found and no one had seen him. 

It was far after midnight, when Dan came back to their flat.  
He half expected Phil to be there, preparing a late dinner for them with stains of food all aver his shirt and trousers. And a cheeky grin.

 

With the impending thought like a black cloud above him, that something terrible had happened to Phil, he silently broke down.  
It appeared to him, that he hadn't eaten all day. Or drunken. Well, despite from a pumpkin spiced Latte from Starbucks in the irrational hope that Phil would sense the presence of his favourite seasonal drink and come back to him.

Now there was silence and there was coldness.

He sat on the hard floor.  
Where was Phil?


	2. Chapter 2

When Dan woke up the next morning, he first couldn't remeber anything.

Why was he in the living room?  
Why was the TV still running?  
Why wasn't there any noise from the kitchen or bathroom?  
No footsteps, no rustling, no crunching, no...  
Why was he lieing on the couch without a blanket?   
Blankets usually had the mannerism to suddenly appear out of nowhere when he fell asleep on the couch.  
He had often woken up with a warm fuzzy feeling. And a smile.  
Phil probably had-  
Phil!  
He groaned as the memories from the last day morphed into a clear shape in his mind. The room started to spin again.

Dan sat up slowly, because his head was hurting.

After some careful consideration he proceeded into the kitchen where he opened the fridge. Then he closed it again.

Dan couldn't eat because he felt sick, so he just drank a bit of water. It didn't taste good.  
Somehow old. Flavourless.  
Should water have a flavour, anyway?  
Probably not.  
His thoughts lost track again.  
Why was he in the kithen again?

He squinted and looked at his phone.   
No new messages. Well, there were quite a few fan mails. But that was all.   
He decided to open a few of them, just to brighten up his day a little.

Someone asked him to send them a few photos of his feet.

Someone wanted to know the colour of his current underwear.

Someone sent him a picture of a masterfully painted oilpainting of a houseplant graveyard.

Someone asked, what to do if you got your foot stuck in a toaster.

Someone asked how to deal with a friend that was moving away.

Someone had just sent him a very detailed drawing of his -

He quickly closed the App again.

Maybe he should make an internet support group video again some time, he mused. He oddly liked them after all.

Restlessly he wandered around the silent apartment.

Then he looked at Phils phone. He hadn't opened the messages from yesterday.

But now he decided to do just that and looked at the text from Phils mom.  
Nothing out of the ordinary. She basically just told Phil not to forget to wear a vest, when it got cold outside.

  
Dan sighed and put Phils phone back into his pocket.

  
What should he do now?

Maybe he should just make another video.

  
Or play another round of skyrim.

Or he could water the houseplants.

Or he could look after Dil.

Or he could-

No.  
Instead he laid face down on the floor and didn't move for at least five hours.

  
Maybe Phil wasn't really gone. Maybe he had just went for a walk and got lost.  
Maybe he was just being silly and playing the worst hide and seek game in maybe ever.

  
But how dared he anyway?  
Leaving without saying anything!  
Without even leaving as much as a post it note!  
He threw his pillow across the room.  
It hit the breakfast table. But there wasn't the satisfying sound of something breaking.   
He didn't bother to pick it up and put it back again.

Maybe if he changed, Phil would come back. He could change! Surely.   
Scream less loudly. Don't complain so much anymore. About the socks and the cereals and-  
Be less negative.  
Phil also often complained about his taste in colours. He probably could wear another colour every once in a while.  
God, he missed Phil.

  
He laid back down, face down, on the floor.  
With his inner eye he stared into the void. And the void stared back at him.   
This was all so unfair!

  
And with that he had went through the first four stages of grief.

Denial  
Anger  
Bargaining  
Depression

 

  
Dan wanted to call his grandma to just talk to someone, but then he remembered, that she was at a gardening competition that day.

  
He stared at the empty space on the couch where Phil would at this time of day usually snuggle up in his favourite blanket.

He wouldn't reach the fifth stage of grief.  
No.  
He was never going to except, that Phil wasn't there anymore.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Dan paced up and down the living room. Back and forth. His steps were the only noise in the apartment.  
Was it too early to ask the internet for help? 

Was it even a good idea at all?

He took another look at his fanmails, frowning.

But what else could he do?

Dan felt like he had no other choice.

So with a deep sigh he went into the gaming room and turned on one of the cameras.

Since he couldn't concentrate on writing a script right now, he decided that he should just improvise something.  
After some careful consideration, he took another deep breath and said: "Hey, guys. Listen, I don't want you to freak out, but..."

He took a deep breath once again, as he stared into the void. But then he caught himself and focused on the camera again.

"I don't know where Phil is.   
So if one of you guys saw him, could you please tell me?

He doesn't have his phone and maybe he got a bit lost.

So if you see a tall guy with emo hair and mismatched socks, that is wondering around aimlessly, please contact me under the link in the description below."

He recorded himself a few more times, but he basically said the same thing every time. 

There wasn't much to edit.

Soon he hit the upload button.

While he was waiting for the responses to come, he could as well do something at least a bit productive.

 

Now he knew, that he needed something really ridiculous, that could make him forget his life completely for a while.

Maybe this one game he heard about, where you could roleplay as a goat and destroy a whole neighbourhood would be fun. Or at least distract him for a bit.

 

Because he couldn't think of anything else to do, he reluctantly downloaded the game.

And then he turned the camera on once more.

Dan cleared his throat, tried a small smile and said: "Hello, this is Dan and Ph-"

il Games.  
And Phil would say something like: "Hello, goats."

 

He groaned loudly before he laid his face on the table.

 

Suddenly there was the annoying sound of an ambulance driving past the house.  
He froze.


	4. Day four without Phil

Dan had a headache, when he woke up the next morning. He couldn't remember the last time, when he drank or ate something. What time was it anyway? Where was he? Who was he? When was he?

 

But then he remembered, that there were more important things to do then thinking about his life choices.

 

With a yawn he opened his inbox and froze immediately.

23512 new messages.  
*ding* -A new message arrived. 

*ding* -A new message arrived.

23515, 23516, 23517

He took a deep breath and started to read.

 

One E-Mail after the other.

One hour after another went by.

One headache after the other.

He created five folders for all of the E-Mails:

-Offtopic

-Tried to help but failed miserably

-F.ing liar

-Potential serial killer

-Actually related to the topic

 

Hours crept by, slowly and steadily.

His eyes felt dry. And there was a burning somewhere in a corner of his mind. A small voice in his head, complaining, that everything he did would be useless in the end after all.

He was biting his lips in concentration and at some point he started to taste blood.   
A warm metallic feeling that made him feel sick.

 

What happened to Phil?  
Of course they had established such a deep connection in the course of many years as best friends forever and literally soulmates.   
If anything happened to Phil, shouldn't he somehow feel it?  
Right? RIGHT?

Then he read some E-Mails he didn't understand. On good days he would just ignore them. But today...

He suddenly felt tired of being what people wanted him to be.

Every step that he took was another mistake to them.  
Again he took a deep breath and tried to get his shit together.

The good folder wasn't of much help, so he thought, that maybe he should try a different tactic.

A long time past until he found a pen that was actually functioning properly, so that he could start to make actual notes.

Then he made more notes, as he looked through the e-mails he had deemed as more important.

Page after page got filled with small letters. Blue dancing across white.  
Until it looked like a stormy ocean.

When he was done, he realised how much ink got smeered over his hands.  
He stared atthem in amazement, not able to comprehend what had happened, and not being able to remember when the last time was, that he had actually used a pen.

The blinds were closed, so he had to check his phone again, to see what time it was.

Why did he even care what time it was?

Shadows were moving before his eyes. Transforming into scary figures and then to Phil.

 

He went to the kitchen when he noticed his stomach making sounds like it was trying to consume its self.

He blacked out shortly from getting up too quickly without being hydrated enough. The blackness had something comforting, yet cold.  
And empty.

 

He found himself again on the cold and somehow sticky floor, eating cereal out of a box, sobbing quietly.

 

Something smelled strange. It was the dishwasher.

Normally Phil would empty the dishwasher, finding for every object its own individual place.  
Dan had given that up a long time ago, because Phil would rearange their stuff every time he entered the kitchen anyway.

But now it was Dans turn to empty the dishwasher. But should he? Was it worth it?

Maybe Phil would never rearrange their stuff again.

*Blessed are the pessimists for they shall never be disappointed.*

But who was he kidding? He always got disappointed by life. Well, not always.

Through all disapointment, all edginess, all hurt in life he had found one thing he really cared about.

"Phil, where are you?", he whispered into the darkness.


	5. Day five without Phil

Dan stared at his phone screen until his eyes started to feel dry. He felt a burning deep inside his skull. But he couldn't define the exact source, since there was too much happening inside of his head at the moment.

"If you stare at that screen for too long, your eyes are going to get rectangular.", Phil had once jokingly said.

Dan had always made a silly face, when Phil had said that or something similarly ...unique.  
But had he ever told him how much he appreciated these jokes?

There were good times and there were bad times. But Phil had always been there.

"I dropped the candle.", Dan had said a few days ago.

"It's ok. I'll clean it up."

"We are living in the timeline that god abandoned."

"Calm down, mate, it's just a candle."

"And for my next trick I will disappoint you without even trying.", Dan had sighed. 

"You are not disappointing me.", Phil had said softly, "and stop being so dramatic about every minor inconvenience. Everything is fine. Ok?"

"Ok."  
He had smiled slightly.

Phil would never get angry with him.

Ever.

Right?

 

Did his memory betray him?  
Maybe Phil was angry at him for something he had done or not done.  
He was sorry for everything he said and didn't say.

He searched for evidence that something had been wrong. Anything at all.

And where was a better place to look than in old text messages?

-Don't forget your moms birthday. P.

-Your mom. D.

...

\- Should I buy this candle I told you about? P.

-Follow your heart. It's a much more enjoyable path to disappointment. D. 

-It's just a candle, Dan. P.

...

-There was a catlady in front of the supermarket and she was super rude. P.

-When someone insults you just remember they can't bring down your already non existent self esteem. D.

-Thanks, Dan. P.

...

\- Why did you never draw a Phil naked? P.  
\- who says I never did. D.  
\- did I ever pick one of your drawings, lol? P.  
\- I drew all of them. Where R U? D.  
\- Living room, watching Rick and Morty. Where R U? P.  
\- Bedroom, watching Rick and Morty. Wanna come over? D.  
\- I have cookies. P.  
\- I have the better blankets. D.

...

(This was where the conversation cut off, because Dan went to get cookies, bringing the blankets with him.)

...

-I could trade your soul for a coffee right now. D.  
-Why my soul? Get your own soul! P.  
-Make me some coffee, Phil! D.

...

-I heard you throwing up last night, while singing 'All by myself'. -R you ok? P.

-Had too much cake. Where R U? D.

-In the kitchen making tea for the idiot that ate the last piece of cake. P.

\- Thanks, mate. I just wanted to be the one who got the last piece for once. D.

-That's why you should leave eating cake to the professionals. Tea is almost done btw. P.

-I can literally hear you eating cereal out of the box again. D.

...

-why didn't you talk to the cashier again? P.  
-Never tries. Never loses. D.

....

He scrolled further and further up.  
Time went by.

Meanwhile he was somewhere around 2009.

...

-thanks for helping me. D.  
-anytime P.  
-you are my best friend D.  
-we are not friends. P.  
-We are soup mates. P.  
-Soul mates* P.

 

And then he smiled, while he felt like crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)  
> Feel free to tell me what you think so far.  
> I'll give my best to update regularly.


	6. Day 6 without Phil

"Look. You don't like me and I don't like you. But we need to talk.", Dan said, closing his eyes in exhaustion.

The phone stayed silent.

God, he hated talking on the phone.  
Absently he put some water on Phils dead plants.  
Well, they did look a bit better. There were tiny, tiny green spots, that hadn't been there only a few days ago.  
It seemed like they were feeling Phils absence.

"We both love Phil as a friend.", he stated, not sure what else to say.

The phone continued to stay silent.  
He started to walk back and forth. Back and forth. He thought about how when you're on the phone, your brain lets you walk around, because you are subconsciously searching for the person you are talking to.

'But I am smarter than my brain.', he thought and sat down. Instead he started to rip a handkerchief in tiny pieces one handedly.

Then he finally took another deep breath. "I just want to know, if he is with you or if you know, if he is ok.", he said flatly.

"I don't know, where he is”, PJ answered. "And I do indeed like you. What are you talking about?"

"I'm really worried."

"I mean why would you say that? We've done collaborations together?"

"PJ!", Dan yelled louder than he had intended.

"I'm sorry, I honestly don't know, where he's at. Sorry."

"It's just ... odd. Like... It's not like him to go away and not taking his phone with him."

"Yeah. This is really strange." 

Dan could hear the sound of dishes on the other end.  
Maybe he was emptying the dishwasher, he thought. It was at least very likely.   
Rude.

"It is. Perhaps something happened to him. I don't even want to think about it.", Dan said slowly.

"Then don't. He's probably fine. ...I guess."  
He suddenly didn't sound so confident anymore.

Then they just stayed silent for a bit.

Dan listened to PJ moving around in his rooms. He heard footsteps and an office chair rolling over laminate -probably. After that he heard the clicking of a keyboard through the phone.

"Look I gotta go. Talk to you soon. ...Bye."

The phone beeped, before Dan could react really.

Great.

Just great.

Dan turned on the TV and turned it off again, phone still in his hand.

He went to the kitchen and sat on the floor for a while. It just couldn't be true. All of that. Could it?

Then the phone rang.

Of course he really wanted to ignore it. But then he saw that it was PJ and he should probably answer it and something inside of him tried to resist the urge to just lie on the floor and ignore anything else and what did he even want anyway and ....

It stopped ringing.

He stared at the dark display. 

With shaking fingers he called back.

"Hey."

"Hey.", Dan answered.

"Listen. I just watched one of Felix's videos. He says he got attacked the day before yesterday night-"

"What happened?"

"Someone broke into his house. But Edgar bit him. Apparently there was a lot of screaming and barking and crashing that woke Felix.  
He started throwing merch that he had lying around which scared that guy.

The intruder ran away and Felix followed him but couldn't get him and-"

"And he just fled?"

"Imagine being attacked by an angry naked swedish guy."

"Naked?" 

"Felix sleeps naked."

Dan tried to get the images out of his head. "Is Marcia ok?", he asked.

"Yeah. She didn't even wake up, during the whole thing." 

"Why do you think, it has something to do with Phil?", he asked reluctantly.

"He thinks the person wasn't there to steal anything. He was there to kidn- to 'pewdnap' him, as he said in a tweet." 

Dan looked around and wondered how he had ended up in the basement.

 

"Who would be so stupid and try to abduct Pewdiepie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Dan and Phil games are on hiatus I started watching videos from people they collaborated with.  
> I really like PJ -he's very creative and talented (and gorgeous), I think. And I like his collaborations with Pewdiepie. And I like Edgar (Pewds dog) a lot.
> 
> I mean they can't be compared to Dan and Phil and we all know it.   
> I'm just trying to distract myself from ...life and stuff.
> 
> Hope you are having a great day or night!  
> Feel free to tell me what you think so far.


	7. Day 7 without Dan

The footsteps in front of the door decrescente.  
He had been too afraid to yell. Probably he had only imagined them, anyway.  
Now, although there was silence again, he was still holding his breath. 

 

"Am I a ghost yet?", Phil thought, "maybe I've died and this is my punishment. But. What should I be punished for? Maybe for killing.   
Killing all of these plants. Oh, god.  
Am I really dead? But if I did die, I should probably haunt Dan. That's what friends do. That's what they are for. Right?"

He walked back and forth. Back and forth, counting his steps.

...8-9-10-11-Stop-Turn-1-2-3...

The cold room had no furniture. Just four walls, a door and a window.  
The floor had the texture and look of some kind of dusty plastic.  
The walls had the texture and look of wet chalk.

'Maybe I've died a long time ago and you are my eternal punishment.', had Dan sometimes said, when he had caught him eating his cereal again.

He stared at the wall in front of him.  
It was white. Maybe grey. Maybe white. He couldn't tell, because it was dark. -Not even really dark, just ...shady?

He counted the cracks in the wall.

There were four. The number hadn't changed, since the time he last had counted them.

...8-9-10-11-Stop-Turn-1-2-3...

Then he sat down again. The floor was cold. The wall against his back was cold.

How did he get here?  
He didn't remember. Everything felt like mist. Somehow cloudy.  
He just had woken up there like from a nightmare and couldn't leave.  
The door was locked and he couldn't open the window.

He sipped from the plastic bottle of water, he had gotten in the morning alongside a bread with cheese.

Phil had eaten the bread and left the cheese on the side.

When the hunger had become too strong, he had also eaten the cheese.

He was never going to eat cheese again. Was he ever going to eat anything again?  
His last real meal felt ages away.

In the corner of the room furthest away from him, stood a bucket. He tried not to think about the bucket.

There was a window. Phils fingerprints were all over it.

When he looked outside, he saw a building, very close. Somehow threatening.

It seemed lost and empty.

Lonely like him.

Unmovable.

Just many windows observing him like unblinking eyes.

Somehow dead somehow blind.

He wished Dan was with him.

But then again, he didn't want him to be in a place like that.

Never would he have imagined, that he would miss the sky that much. So damn much.

But there he was. 

Missing fresh air.  
Birds.  
Voices.  
Cars.  
Sirens.

Any sign of life. At all.

His mum was probably already worrying.   
He missed writing to her. And he missed talking to her. He missed her giving him unnecessary life advice, that he always secretly appreciated although he never bought a vest for example.  
And he had planned on visiting her in a few weeks. Days? How long had he even been there? With no one but himself as company?

Well, there was a cockroach in the left corner of the room. But it hadn't moved in a while.

From time to time he would reach into his trouser pocket out of habit just to find it empty.  
His fingers were twitching. He missed the feeling of having a phone in his hands. 

He heard a noise his stomach made. A painful growling.

He wanted it to stop, but didn't know how.   
Maybe food would help.

But the plates had only mysteriously appeared when he had been sleeping.

So he laid down, facing the wall with the four cracks. He counted them and counted them again, beginning to see hidden figures in them. 

Now he understood what it was like to fear the dark.

There was a lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling. Completely naked.  
Soon it would start to get darker.  
So the light from the bulb would be the greatest light source and start to attract moths.

Moths made him think of Dan.

He missed Dan.  
So much.

Dan would come and save him.

...Save him.

Surely. 

Soon.

He counted the cracks until he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> The next chapters will get a bit longer and less ...depressive?  
> I just didn't want to let you wait so long again.
> 
> Tell me what you think so far, if you like.
> 
> I hope you are having a great night or day!


	8. Day 8 without Phil

_Dan had stared at his computer in horror._   
  
_"It's just an invitation, Dan, it won't be that bad. I promise.", Phil had said, still lying on the couch, eyes glued to his phone. He was probably secretly practicing to play Fortnight._   
  
_"Stop pretending like life doesn't terrify you.", Dan had suddenly yelled._   
  
_Much more quiet Phil had answered: "One of us has to be strong for-"_   
  
_"Are you calling me weak?", Dan had screeched._   
  
_"I'm calling you hysterical. Calm down, please. It'll be fine. Ok? Everything is fine."_   
  
_"I just hate weddings, there are so many people and everything has to be so-"_   
  
_Dan heard steps approaching. Then a warm hand on his shoulder._   
  
_"Are you ok, mate? Don't be so upset about it. I'm certain it will be a lovely day. Plus it won't be a big deal, I promise. It's our friends' wedding. Also there will be cake. Imagine all that food and the nice music and our friends at the happiest day of their lives." Phil sounded silly and cheerfully._   
  
_But when Dan glanced up he looked into huge worried blue eyes._   
_Amazingly blue eyes that seemed to gaze right through him._   
  
_"I'm fine.", Dan said quietly while focussing on the not very clean floor._   
_There were socks everywhere._   
  
_"It's ok. I'm here.", Phil said. "Nothing can be so bad, that a good bowl of cereal can't make you feel better, can it?"_   
  
_This had made Dan smile._   
  
_Phil was the one thing that could always make Dan smile. No matter what was happening at the moment._   
_Him -and dogs. Probably._   
  
_"And it will be a nice opportunity to meet with our friends again. Do you think crazy aunt Rosie will be there, too?", Phil had asked as he handed him a huge bowl of cereal after he came back from the kitchen._   
_But Dans hands were trembling when he grabbed for it._   
  
_The bowl fell and shattered into a million pieces._   
  
_Milk spilled over his black socks, leaving him standing in a puddle._   
_It was cold._   
  
_Cold._   
  
  
Dan woke up in cold sweat.   
He rubbed his eyes and groaned.   
  
Had it been a dream or a memory?   
  
...Or a mix of both?   
  
He stood up slowly. His limbs were aching. His sight was blurry. His hair wasn't even curly anymore. It was just a mess.   
Much worse than hobbit hair.   
  
  
He was in desperate need of a shower.   
  
  
All the towells still hung in their place, as he entered the bathroom. Also the contact lenses were where they were supposed to be.   
These apparently small insignificant facts reminded him violently that his best friend was still missing.   
  
  
When pulling down his trousers, he managed to hit his head on the sink.   
  
He cursed under his breath.   
Silence answered.   
  
  
Although being an introvert he started to hate being alone.   
  
With his hair still wet after a cold shower, he got his jacket and decided to go for a walk.   
  
Walking was exhausting without diversion. Usually he would watch out that Phil wouldn't be a danger to himself and others while playing Pokèmon Go.   
Now that he was alone, Dan became more aware of his surroundings, noticing things he usually didn't.   
He saw garbage on the streets, being gently carried by a soft breeze.   
He saw a one legged dove fighting with a rat.   
He saw a homeless person with a small dog that looked hungry. He gave the man money to buy food for the dog.   
  
Sitting in a café was even more frustrating.   
  
Someone had carved a few words into the table. * _J. A. Is a dumb a..hole_ *   
_* Boys are stupid* *A. S. was here*_   
This person sure must have been mad.   
The table was made of that solid kind of plastic in the colour of an ugly wooden brown. And it was sticky. But that wasn't unusual. It was one of their favourite places after all. Dan himself had spilled a milkshake on this table not long ago.   
  
Looking at the words also was frustrating.   
  
As was people watching.   
  
There were some misbehaving children that annoyed him.   
They screeched and jelled and spilled their food everywhere.   
  
There was an older lady that tried to argue with the cashier waving a red umbrella threateningly.   
She obviously wanted her money back, because she had been served room temperature warm coffee.   
  
There was a couple making out in the dark corner of the room. He didn't want to watch them.   
  
Mumbling quietly to himself he ate a plain bagel.   
  
Some people stared back at him.   
And some of those probably knew him, but today no one was brave enough to talk to him, considering the stern look and the-   
Now he realised that he was wearing a light blue shirt. Probably Phils.   
No. Certainly Phils.   
It still smelled like his aftershave. After his shower he must have blindly grabbed for the wrong one. How could that have happened?   
But it didn't really matter. Did it?   
Thoughtfully he took another bite of his bagel.   
  
Then he gazed out of the window.   
  
His heart jumped every time he saw a tall guy with black hair and a colourful shirt. He had never realized before how many people looked like Phil from afar.   
  
It was ridiculous.   
  
It felt like he had had this day before.   
  
It felt like he was trapped in a hell dimension.   
  
Still his phone was in the unusual state of being turned off in his pocket.   
  
The internet was going wild without Phil and he couldn't handle it right now.   
  
But on the other hand: What if someone knew or had seen something?   
  
No one could disappear without anyone noticing at least something. Could he?   
  
He played with his phone in his hands.   
Then he took another sip of his Pumpkin Spiced Latte and turned on his phone.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience! I just couldn't update for a while, since I was trying to recover from a badly broken heart among a few other things.
> 
> I hope you, guys, are fine.
> 
> Don't worry, I should update more regularly once I got a few things figured out.


	9. Day 9 without Phil

Dan didn't know, why he was wondering around the half empty streets yet again.  
Probably because he felt he was going crackers, if he even stayed one more minute in the empty apartment, where the plants started to slowly recover but everything else felt so lifeless without Phil.   
  
The tiniest of raindrops glittered in the lights of the flickering street lamps, as he stumbled through smaller and bigger puddles of grey.   
There was too much fog to see the sky and he wondered if there still were stars.   
  
His last hours had been uneventful.   
There were more and more messages coming in but he hadn't found anything really useful yet. Though he was still taking notes and hoping for the best.   
While a lot of E-Mails were supportive, other ones ...weren't.   
Now he needed a break from all of this.   
Needed to walk like he was searching for clues.   
Like there would be the answer to his questions hidden behind a tree or under a bench.   
  
He only found most of the streets deserted, since it was somewhere around the middle of the night. And he didn't want to run into concerned fans anyway.   
  
No one else was there to notice him, as he watched his reflection following him in the display windows from the corners of his eyes.   
His reflection looked nothing more than a shadow, hunched over and completely black.   
  
Now he realized that he was still wearing his bathrobe.   
But never mind, the robe was black and ...to be honest it suited him and it reflected his inner state of mind quite well and he couldn't bring himself to even care.   
  
Far away he heard sirens. And closer a sleepy dove, confused by unnatural light.   
  
But suddenly he heard something like a small painful cry coming from somewhere to his right.   
  
Actually he didn't want to find out, what was happening, wanted to rather mind his own business. But his feet carried him in the direction of the heartbreaking sound anyway, crossing the street, following the sidewalk where it was leading him.   
  
Warmer. Colder. Warmer. Warmer. WARMER.   
  
He found himself in a dark alleyway.   
That kind of places where there would be sinister business going on, but luckily for him it was a rather quiet night.   
  
There was the sound again.   
  
It was not a cry. It was more like a howl -and for the fracture of a moment he thought about how Phil would now make a bad pun about his name.   
  
The sound again. Much closer.   
Coming from a rubbish container.   
  
He held his breath, not knowing what was about to happen next.   
  
Then curiosity got over him.   
  
He opened the rubbish container slowly with as little contact as possible and while holding his breath.   
  
Between Pizza kartons, diapers and broken glass, there was the unlikeliest creature he would have ever imagined to find. A puppy.   
A small greyish dark corgi to be precise.   
  
"Hello dear. What are you doing here in a place like this?"   
  
The dog didn't answer.   
It only looked at him with the saddest eyes, he had ever seen.   
  
He took the puppy out of the rubbish container and petted the small animal.   
  
It smelled very badly, when it snuggled against his warm chest, already seeming to get sleepy.   
  
Anyway Dan opened his bathrobe and tried to cover the dog with it, so it would stop shaking.   
  
  
It was a long way back to the flat. But when he got there, the dog felt warm, but it was of course still in desperate need of a long bath.   
  
  
The next two hours were hard.   
  
Generally it wasn't easy to bath a dog.   
But this particular dog didn't want to take a bath with all his being.   
  
When they were finished, water was literally everywhere in the bathroom and on Dan.   
That and dogs hair.   
  
He looked like they had taken the bath together, fully clothed.   
  
For almost ten minutes he searched in the bathroom for the hairdryer, before he remembered that Phil had had it last, since Dan hadn't bothered to dry his hair with it while being alone.   
  
He hadn't been in Phils room in the past few days. And it was weird to be there while Phil wasn't.   
  
When he felt panic rising up in him, he had to sit down on the bed for a short moment, to calm himself again.   
Breathing exercise.   
  
But he wasn't sitting very comfortably, but a good posture is essential for the right breathing. He sat on something.   
There was a doll under the sheet. One of the Phil-dolls from their Dan and Phil shop.   
  
Why was it there?   
Did Phil need it to fall asleep or something?   
No, this would be weird. Not even a Phil-kind-of-weird.   
Was he trying to send a message with it?   
Or worse: was he shrinked into a doll, now trapped there forever unable to move or even blink? And Dan had sat in him!   
  
Was Dan starting to imagine stuff?   
He decided to think about it later, so he carefully (because you never know) put the doll into his pocket and tried to remember why he came into this room in the first place.   
  
The hairdryer was behind Phils bedside table, where it surely didn't belong.   
  
When he was finished with it, the dog looked like a small ball of fluff. Just like he was supposed to.   
  
Of course he didn't have dog food anywhere and it was nowhere near opening hours so he would be able to buy some, so he opened the fridge.   
Empty.   
  
"Seems like we'll be ordering pizza, today. Do you like pizza?"   
  
The dog ignored him and laid down on the couch like he belonged there and never had been elsewhere.   
  
First he searched for the smallest cereal bowl he could find, filled it with water and put it on the floor.   
  
When Dan took the phone, he was again violently reminded of all those times he had to call somewhere, because Phil couldn't.   
  
But bless the 24h -Pizza delivery.   
  
While he was ordering the usual, his eyes fell on the dog again, who was curled up, between cushions, sleeping peacefully. This made him smile.   
  
"...And send me your cutest delivery boy.", he added with new confidence at the end of his order and winked at the dog.   
  
Soon after that, the pizza was there, brought to him by a guy, that looked so average, that Dan had forgotten his face, before he even had closed the door behind him.   
  
The dog smelled the arrival of the food and was faster than lightning between Dans feet and almost caused him to fall.   
  
"For eating pizza, we have a sacred tradition-", he told the dog and continued to talk about sweetness and chicken and bacon and forgotten jalapenos until he heard his own stomach complain.   
  
  
He gave the dog a slice, which made the small creature unimaginably happy.   
  
Then he took another one and carefully, almost like he was afraid to get hurt, took a bite.   
  
The slice was warm. It made him feel so calm on the inside. Almost so happy, that he felt like crying.   
  
Dan chewed slowly and thoughtfully.   
  
"Listen, usually I'm not like this-", he told the dog. The dog didn't care. It wanted another slice.   
  
"You want a nug? But I shouldn't give you a dip, right?"   
  
The dog didn't answer.   
He only got the chicken nug.   
  
"Wait, you haven't got a name, yet."   
  
He put the smallest of all drips of coke on the dogs head.   
  
"I shall name you ...Susan the fifth!"   
  
  
Susan looked proud, if a dog ever could look proud.


	10. Day 10 without Dan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil has been alone for a long time, now. And he isn't in a good mental state atm. 
> 
> Also I have read a lot of fanfics recently and people seem to warn about all sorts of things.  
> Like that one person warned about a spider being a part of a chapter.  
> I mean being afraid of spiders is totally valid, but I wouldn't have known that I should warn you guys about something like that.   
> Now I'm a bit confused about what lines I shouldn't cross without telling anyone.  
> So please let me know if something is really bothering you, so I can put it either right here or even in the tags. 
> 
> Thank you ^^
> 
> ...and prepare yourselves for insects.

He woke up.    
  
He was still in the room.   
  
The walls were white.   
  
He stared at them until his eyes felt dry.   
  
There was a cockroach in the left hand corner of the room.   
  
"Don't cry, human. 'Cause nobody will care."   
  
"You are supposed to say 'Don't cry. Craft.'", Phil answered softly.   
  
The cockroach had spoken to him in Dans voice. It echoed through his mind.   
  
He missed that voice so much.   
  
He missed Dan so much.   
  
Dan would get rid of that annoying insect.   
  
Like that one time...   
  
Phil tried to ignore it, while the cockroach started to sing 'Welcome to the Black Parade', completely out of tune or rhythm.   
  
The insect was completely black. An EMO Cockroach. Was that why it reminded him of Dan?   
  
He got lost in a mess of thoughts for several minutes, with a blank expression he didn't even blink.   
When had he last changed his contact lenses?   
  
What had his dream been about?   
He didn't remember most of it.   
Things were blurry.   
  
  
Had it been about being kept in a white room with no furniture?   
Dreams and reality shifted and mixed.   
  
'Don't cry, human.', the cockroach said.   
  
"CRAFT", Phil yelled louder than he had ever before, which scared himself and he covered his mouth immediately.   
  
Why could no one hear him?   
  
Did they just not care?   
There had to be somebody out there!   
  
Was he losing his mind?   
  
....Mayhaps.....   
  
Being alone for so long wasn't good for him.   
  
Well, being alone without any kind of distraction, but counting and counting again the cracks on the wall or walking back and forth and back and forth and...   
Counting his steps again and again.   
  
After walking in a circle for too long he started to feel dizzy.   
He sat back down to count the cracks in the wall again. And again and again and again.   
  
Yep. Same number.   
  
Maybe he should make some new cracks, so he would have more to count.   
It was a great distraction and he had read somewhere that counting things could help people concentrate.   
What should he concentrate on?   
Getting out!   
Right.   
Concentrate!   
  
  
The cockroach in the corner of the room started to verbally harass him while he scratched the wall with his bare hands.   
  
The former white-grayish wall was now orange-grayish.    
  
He looked at his fingers in confusion.    
Two of his nails had broken.   
There was nothing in this room to fix them.   
...Nothing to make things how they were supposed to be.   
  
Phil laid his head against the cold surface, not even feeling the small pain in his fingertips where his nails had broken.   
His forehead was now cold.   
And somehow that calmed him down.   
  
He watched his reflection in the almost empty water bottle stare back at him.   
Water bottle Phil looked exhausted and unhappy.   
  
From time to time he heard voices from outside the room.   
Sometimes angry.   
Sometimes laughing.   
There were two of them. At least.   
  
"How do you know, this is real?", the insect asked.   
  
"I don't.", Phil answered.   
  
"Why don't you leave?"   
  
"I can't."   
  
"But I'd like to. I'll get help."   
  
"You can fit there. I don't.", he gestured towards the door.   
  
"Then it shall be time to say our goodbyes."   
  
"Go. Be free.", Phil whispered.   
  
The insect left without turning back, obviously determined to go on a huge adventure and continued to sing on his way.   
  
A small tear ran down Phils cheek.   
The singing decreased somewhere outside.   
  
The light bulb flickered.   
  
Again he heard words, but was unable to grasp the meanings behind them.   
  
  
Words like whispered yelling.   
Near and at the same time far.   
  
Phils eyes started to feel itchy.  Or at least he was imagining them to feel itchy.   
Probably he should just get his contact lenses out. He didn't need to see anything there anyway.   
  
His former life felt so far away.   
So out of reach.   
Like a dream.   
  
When he concentrated really hard he could remember a car ride.   
  
The car smelled just like a fresh car would smell like. But there was no chance for him to know what kind of car it was. Maybe a smaller one, since he felt like there had been no room for his legs. For some reason in his head he pictured it light blue. Also his head was hurting. Maybe he had hit, when getting into the car. Why was he in the car anyway? Who was with him? It wasn't Dan, surely.   
There were trees moving outside of the window. The vibrations of the moving car had made him feel sick.   
His eyes had been so heavy. The trees had been spinning.   
Then a voice that told him to not be scared. Something so soft and soothing.   
  
But was it really a memory or just part of his imagination, the product of his loneliness, a sad attempt of making sense of why he had ended up wherever he was right now.   
  
Someone or something suddenly screamed, which gave his heart a start.   
  
  
  
He woke up.    
  
He was still in the room.   
  
The walls were white.   
  
He stared at them until his eyes felt dry.   
  
There was a cockroach in the left hand corner of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far.  
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> You can stalk me on tumblr, if you like to. I'm abirdonalilactree and my blog is a mess, because I get easily obsessed by stuff.  
> But I'm online like 24/7 so if you need to talk or vent or gush or something, I'll be there.


	11. Day 11 without Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Yes, it has been long. But it was a difficult chapter to write.
> 
> I hope you'll like it.
> 
> Please enjoy!

He knew he should have gone earlier.

But it had felt so endlessly hard.

It still did.

 

Getting out of bed or up from the couch.

Eating.

Water the plants.

Getting dressed.

Black with black and black.

A mirror of how he felt inside.

Much too long.

 

A bit less hard was feeding the dog.

Sometimes yelling at it for peeing on the cushions or in front of the telly.

Then apologizing and giving it a treat although he knew he shouldn't.

Playing with the dog occasionally made him forget how sad and lost he felt most of the time.

 

This morning he had gotten a worried call from Kath and of course he couldn't lie to her but he couldn't really tell her the truth either.

Phil's mom was missing him naturally. And like every good mom she was worried.

But the optimistic person she was, she didn't hang up, before she hadn't reassured Dan that this whole thing might be nothing but a huge misunderstanding.

And she didn't say goodbye until Dan felt a little lighter around his heart.

  
  


Terribly hard was being outside.

Getting out of the house.

Talking to people if necessary.

But the dog had to go for a walk.

It was important for Susan to stay healthy. He knew he probably fed her a bit too much, so a lot of walking should make things better.

Susan was the only good thing in his life at the moment.

Also she wouldn't stop barking at him until he took the leash and opened the door.

She was already getting a bit chubby from all those treats, Dan had to give her.

But she was such a good girl.

Well ... Not that good. But she somehow deserved a treat whenever she did something cute, didn't she?

Susan barked happily.

And Dan took his earphone and closed the door behind them.

 

~~~

 

"If one day he wakes up and realizes that he is missing me-", he slowly whispered more to himself than to the dog, "-And he wonders where on this earth I could be-"

He walked around a corner where the streets were more crowded.

There was a huge 'No dogs sign' in the window of Phil's favourite Starbucks.

Susans nose was on every person's bag that left the Starbucks.

 

"I thought that maybe he'd come back here to that place that we usually meet.", he explained to her. "If we can't go inside, we'll wait here. He must come here, if he's anywhere near."

Susan sat down, following every customer with eyes, ears and nose.

 

"You don't know how Phil is when he doesn't get some coffee in a while.", Dan said fondly. Then his expression changed to a more worried one. "No coffee would drive him and everyone around him insane. I hope wherever he is, he has a nice cup of coffee."

About an hour later a small asian looking woman came out of the starbucks: "Sir, I have to ask you to leave. You are scaring the customers."

 

Dan now realised that people were staring at them.

 

They looked basically like a dark and unshowered abyss and an overweight dog.

He noticed his black shirt was covered in a lot of fur of his quite fluffy pet.

Dan couldn't care less.

 

"He'll see me on the news.", Dan whispered to Susan with half a smile.

 

"I'm calling the police.", the woman said, "I warn you. My husband works at the police station."

 

Dan shrugged it off and continued to stare into the distance.

After no more than half an hour, a police car stopped in front of him.

 

"Seriously?"

 

The Police man got out of the car and said "Son, you can't stay here."

He was a huge man, but still Dan was able to look down to him.

The man in the uniform obviously didn't like it.

 

"But there is someone I'm waiting for."

 

The woman appeared behind him once more.

 

"Do you see? He needs to leave! He is scaring the customers. And he is not buying anything, he is just standing there staring at the customers."

 

"I got this, Lee, please wait inside. Son, you heard her. You have to leave.", the man insisted. 'Sergeant Sha'quan Chambers' was written on the man's name tag.

Dan didn't dare to try and pronounce that name, scared to anger that stern man even more.

 

"I can't.", he said weakly.

 

"Why?", the man crossed his arms and tried to appear even bigger.

 

"Maybe he would come back here to the place we usually meet and he would see me waiting for him on the corner of this street 'cause I'm not moving.", he said under his breath.

 

His eyes felt hurt by the almost unnatural sunlight, that seemed so uncommon for this part of the earth.

 

"There is just this big hole in my world.", he said quietly. Probably no one but the dog understood.

 

Some passers by had stopped and started to talk.

Then some took photos.

 

"Now I'll get famous for that guy that can't be moved.", he told Susan.

Susan didn't pay attention. She observed the leg of Sergeant Sha'quan Chambers hungrily.

 

"He'll see me on the news.", Dan mumbled quietly.

 

"Sir, I have to ask you to leave.", the woman said once more.

 

"I gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows. I'm not going anywhere. If he changes his mind this is the first place he would go."

 

"Son, what are you talking about?", the man asked, starting to look worried.

 

"My roommate went missing.", Dan stated, starting to feel like he was waking up from some kind of trance.

Susan barked and the police man took a step back.

 

"Maybe you should come with me, then..."

 

"I did nothing wrong." Fear suddenly made him feel very cold.

 

"Would you like us to find your friend or not?"

 

Before Dan knew what was happening he climbed into the police car, while photos were taken and gossip was spread.

 

~~~

 

He didn't want to do it.

When he talked to the police, now, it would start to be real.

Phil would be gone for real.

 

He had read the online website back and forth and then again and again until he remembered every word by heart:

 

" _If someone goes missing, contact anyone you think may know their whereabouts – if you’re still concerned, contact your local police."_

 

Done that.

Not on purpose but still.

 

" _-You don’t have to wait 24 hours before contacting the police."_

 

Well, he was past this point.

 

_"The police may ask you:_

_-for their photo details of their friends or relatives,_

_-details of places the person often visits,_

_-whether they had a medical conditionfor a sample of their DNA, eg from a toothbrush,_

_-With a relative’s permission, they may also ask to search the person’s home._

_-The person will be recorded as missing and their details made available to other UK police forces within 48 hours."_

 

48 hours could be a long time.

He could already see himself checking the time every few minutes.

On the other hand: Thinking about other police forces looking for Phil reminded him of the possibility that Phil was even ...less close than what he liked to imagine.  


_"Knowing when someone is found:_

_If the police find a person aged under 18, their parent(s) or guardian(s) will usually be told their whereabouts unless police believe the child’s safety is at risk._

_If the person is aged over 18, the police won’t pass on their whereabouts without their permission."_

 

This again reminded him of the possibility that Phil had wanted to leave and he really didn't want to think about that.

 

_"Organisations that help find missing people_

_You can contact:_

_Missing Persons Bureau, Missing People, Missing Kids UK, Look For Them_

_People missing abroad:_

_If someone goes missing abroad you should contact:_

_your local police - they will contact the police force in the relevant country (through Interpol)the Foreign and Commonwealth Office on 02** *** *** (ask for ‘Consular Protection’)_

 

_Report a sighting of a missing person:_

_If you spot a missing person contact the police._

_If you want to remain anonymous, you can contact Missing People to report the sighting_."

 

Maybe he should have done that instead.

Maybe he should have asked for help somewhere else.

And again, if one of their Fans saw Phil, he had no doubt that they would contact him immediately.

  


He blinked. He had got a bit lost in his thoughts. Dan was still at the station, answering questions half heartedly. Mechanically.

 

"So you harassed him on the internet, until he agreed to meet you, you 'shared an apartment' and now he escaped and you want us to find him.", Sergeant Sha'quan Chambers stated.

 

Dan felt like he stood beside himself, watching himself from a distance that grew bigger.

Now the man laughed, showing his white teeth.

  


"Don't worry, son, my daughter won't shut up about you. Dan this, Phil that. Was damn mad at me when she couldn't go to your show. But she had some important exam the next week. Math, you know...."

 

Dan took a deep breath.

 

"We'll find your missing boyfriend. Don't worry."

Sergeant Sha'quan Chambers did sound reassuring, surely.

But something about it sounded dishonest.

Why should he trust him anyway?

 

Dan gave his best to stay polite.

Great. Another Demon Phannie.

 

"Can I have an Autograph for my daughter, please?", another officer suddenly said, before he could leave the building.  


"I'm trying to be supportive and all, but it's some damn hard work, you know."

 

"I see.", Dan smiled politely, as he looked down to the half bold and much smaller man. He gave autographs to three more people.

 

Then he was out the door.

He left with the feeling that Phil would be nothing but another number added to some random statistic.

Not anymore walking. He was running, carrying his short legged dog safely in his arms.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you find my easter egg?
> 
> Also source:  www.gov.uk/report-missing-person


	12. Day 12 without Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience!  
> Here is the next chapter.
> 
> Please enjoy!

Dan rewatched Phils videos again and again.

He rewatched Phil evolve from fringe to quiff.

He rewatched Phil getting more and more self conscious.

Again and again.

At some point the videos started to feel fake.

How could he always be smiling so adorably?

No one could ever really be that pure. Could he?

 

Had Phil been unhappy?

Had he?

Had he?

Really and honestly?

 

Dan searched for signs.

And searched again.

Went through the trash bin and raw material.

 

Over Analized.

That's what a lot of their Phans seemed to do all day.

Analyzing stuff again and again. Until it was beyond any sense.

  


Overthought.

Every day of every week.

Why would Phil make a video at all?

He had successfully  gone to university after all. Unlike Dan.

Did he think that he was wasting his life?

No! Why should he?

He loved his life!

Didn't he?

He sure loved it.

 

Being creative.

Traveling.

Trying new things.

  


Overlooked.

...something?

  


He shook his head.

 

Ridiculous. All of this.

  


Of course there always was the stuff he had left out.

And he never had made a video when he wasn't in the right mindset.

That was law.

Unwritten but probably his most important work ethic.

  


Dan looked through Brian again.

Brian the phone needed its charger.

 Why even give his phone a name?

Without realizing it, Dan smiled again, sadly.

 The best things came out of Phil when he started talking before finishing his thought process.

 There were a lot of new notifications from Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram and YouTube.

But there was no clue that helped Dan any bit.

 

Susan was sleeping safe and soundly after she had chewed on one of Phil's shoes. And with that shoe still in her mouth she was now lying on the couch.

He carefully petted the dogs head.

The fur was clean and already much softer than before, which came from a lot of snuggeling.

 

Dan sat back down on the chair and watched the dog breath for a while.

In and out.

And it calmed his heart rate.

And it washed his frown away.

  


_I will save you, Phil. Even if it is the last thing I ever do._

_I promise._

_-Anything?_

_Anything?_

 

Dan leaned back, thoughtfully.

 

He closed his eyes. Mind accelerating. Now racing. All that terrible things that could happen to him.

What if he was hurt, somewhere... What if.

Not much later he fell asleep in his chair, exhausted from worrying. Exhausted from his helplessness. Face on the keyboard.

  


_He sat in a crowded bus on their way to the wedding._

_To his left sat Phil. Sleeping with his head leaned against his shoulder._

_Raven black hair was tingeling his neck._

_From his viewpoint he could see the tiniest roots of ginger._

  _Most of the people who had a seat were sleeping as well. A lot of them got sleeping masks. He couldn't really see faces._

  _To his right stood a man completely in black, except for a blue tie. He wore glasses and he had a way of looking down to him, that Dan didn't like._

_He wanted to ignore him, because he felt that he wasn't in the right mindset to pick a fight._

_But still. Something about these hazel brown eyes left him restless._

 

_"Can I help you, Dude?", he asked after a while._

 

_"Who is this 'Dude' you are referring to?"_

 

_Dan squinted. There was something familiar about him. But he couldn't quite put the finger on it._

 

_"Do I know you?"_

 

_"I don't recall seeing you before." the man shook his head._

 

_"K.", Dan said and shrugged it off._

_He focused on his phone once more._

_2% left._

_There was nowhere to put the charger._

_He sighed angrily._  

_The bus stood at a bus stop and stood and stood. More and more people got in._

_Why was this taking so long?_

 

_"Haven't you people ever heard of closing a g*@ d÷×= door? Step back now, will you?", the bus driver yelled through his microphone._

 

_People were cursing and shuffeling as the bus waited for them to move from the doors so they could close properly._

_Phil was still sleeping._

_Dan took a moment to make sure that he was still breathing steadily._

 

_"You're alone here?"_

 

_"My roomates... Overslept and have to take another bus.", the man sat flatly._

_"Punctuality is very important to me. And I had made a plan but they never adjust-"_

 

_"Roommates you say?"_

_Dan couldn't help but to wink inappropriately._

 

_"And who's that?", the man asked._

 

_"My bestest friend.", Dan said softly as he tilted his head a bit._

 

_Phil was snoring and shifting slightly._

_For a moment Dan thought about taking a photo and posting it on Instagram._

_But then he decided not to disturb this peacefulness._

_He knew if he woke his friend now, he would be grumpy for the rest of the ride. And a Phil without any coffee near, wasn't a happy Phil._

 

_"Where are you going?", Dan asked the man with the blue tie and the glasses as he started to feel more bored than before._

 

_"I have a prior engagement related engagement today, as my boyfriend phrased it so nicely."_

 

_"Same.", Dan answered._

 

_"But weddings are nothing but a social construct, that-"_

 

_"Mood.", Dan answered._

  


_Suddenly the busdriver hit the breaks, honked and cursed loudly._

 

_"Where are we going and can we stop for waffles?", Phil asked after he woke up with a start. He was confused and his hair was ruffled._

 

_"Phil, it's ok. You can go back to sleep. We aren't there, yet."_

 

_"Who were you talking to?"_

 

_"That-" He looked up again._

 

_The guy with the blue tie was gone._

 

_"-is none of your business, Philly. Go back to sleep."_

 

_Phil rolled his eyes. Then he closed them again, head now tilted to the other side, face pressed against the window._

_Dan hoped that no one was taking photos from outside the bus._

  _Why was he sitting there anyway, when he wasn't looking out the window?_

 

_Then the man stood up again. He had fallen to the floor when the busdriver had hit the breaks._

_He said: "Let me give you some advice: Maybe it is not a good idea to do things on your own. Sometimes you need a little help from others."_

 

_"What?"_

 

Dan woke up.

He imagined to feel letters pressed against his cheek.

  


Letters of words he couldn't fathom into constellations any longer.

Dan sat there speechless, rubbing his cheek and forehead. They felt numb.

  


He could hear that a few birds were singing and there was the small noise the dogs paws made on the couch, as he moved them in his dreams.

There was a small puddle of dog saliva on the couch. She was ruining this piece of furniture in many different ways.

 

"What are you dreaming about?", Dan asked softly.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo...  
> Who did Dan meet in the bus?
> 
> Since we all seem to have several Fandoms in common, you might have already guessed it.
> 
> But don't fear! You don't need to know him to understand the story. Everything will make sense later. ;)


End file.
